SCENE 1: GRAND MASTER V

scores (1-10)

A man known by many names. On his passport, it says Victor Hristov. On YouTube, he’s better known as Vic Christoph. And God only knows what the hot senoritas he dances his salsa with call him! Being the writer and coproducer of this beautiful camera comparison, I’ll allow myself to add one more name to the list: Grand Master V! No idea how he feels about it; guess I’ll find out on Monday.

SCENE 2: “$10 IF YOU STOP IT WHILE WE’RE AT THE TOP”

The great thing about Ferris wheels is that whatever happens up there, stays there. Remember that, folks.

SCENE 3: HEARTBREAKER

While his friends refer to him as Rado, ladies typically call him ‘Yes, sir’, for some odd reason. Probably the result of spectacular upbringing.

This turns out to be a relatively easy win for the iPhone XS Max – it has captured the most balanced and in-your-face portrait shot of the three. The Note 10+ comes close in terms of color reproduction, but is just too hazy. Meanwhile, the Pixel 3 has come up with artificial-looking colors and bokeh that is just too fake to take seriously. No to mention that its lack of a telephoto camera is evident in the proportions, which are decent, but not entirely correct.

SCENE 4: INFINITY GARDEN

“Man’s capacity for destruction is only rivaled by man’s capacity to create beauty in the world.” – the Heartbreaker

Scene 4 is the first scene where the Pixel managed to edge out the competition by delivering the most well-rounded picture. The dreamy, slightly overemphasized flowers actually work to the benefit of the whole composition. The Note 10+ is not bad as well, although we aren’t necessarily fans of the colder profile it’s preferred here. The iPhone XS Max decided to hurl itself to the opposite spectrum, churning out an overly warm picture. Deceivingly warm.

SCENE 5: “I’M NOT SHORT; HE’S TOO TALL”

What we observe here is Einstein’s theory of general relativity in full effect. There is no such thing as short, tall, skinny, fat, dumb, or smart. Everything is relative, there’s always a bigger fish in the sea! For example, we could make a case that Vic is taller than me, but on the other hand, I’m taller than……. you know what, forget it. Lamest theory ever!

Ladies and gents, it’s a scientifically proven fact that selfie cameras on smartphones suck. They are too wide, distort your perfectly shaped head and make you look like a banana. True, we may be sharing 60% of our genes with the yellow fella, but still! That’s why we’d congratulate the Pixel 3 for having a working portrait mode for selfies. Take a look at the three photos and you’ll find dramatic differences between the proportions. Initially,  the pics from the Note 10+ and XS Max may look alright. But then you look at the Pixel’s photo and tears begin to flow, as you realize that all this time, we’ve been doing selfies wrong.

SCENE 6: BELLA FIGURA

You’ve got to give it to Italians: they may be making the crappiest cars on the planet, but they sure have the best food!

We can’t really pick a winner between the Galaxy Note 10+ and the iPhone XS Max here – there doesn’t seem to be any meaningful differences in this scene. The Pixel 3, however, has botched things by underexposing and making everything more yellow than it needs to be.

SCENE 7: MOONWALK

So Vic and I are just strolling around in the evening, looking for great scenes to capture for the camera comparison. A gentle summer breeze casually cooling our ripped bodies. And all of a sudden – a breathtaking view of the bright, clear moon over the sea. At that moment, it dawned on us: we’re just two apex predators on top of this world.

Both the Galaxy Note 10+ and Apple iPhone XS Max performed respectably in these less than ideal conditions, with the iPhone bringing in the faster and cleaner results. The photo from the Pixel 3, on the other hand, is too lo-fi. It’s needlessly yellow and noisy.

SCENE 8: SUMMER VIBES

While we were busy conquering the world, others were chilling out at the beach, socializing and having fun. Oh well, you know what they say – it’s lonely at the top!

The Galaxy Note 10+ is killing it here with well-balanced colors and decent, realistic exposure of the scene. The iPhone XS Max has managed to keep up with the colors part, but its photo has turned out a bit darker. The Pixel 3? Well, you can see the orange results for yourselves.

SCENE 9: V IS FOR VICIOUSLY HANDSOME

Here’s the thing, guys: there is handsome, and then there’s viciously handsome. There’s nothing wrong with regular handsome, but if you want to be a Grand Master or a Heartbreaker, you’ve got to step your game up! And as with most things in life, it all starts with a magnetic selfie.

The Pixel 3 has solidified itself as the ultimate selfie machine. Here again, it’s made the most with what little light was available on the spot. It’s produced a perfectly usable selfie with pleasant color and exposure. The iPhone XS Max is not bad at all, but it’s obviously darker than ideal. Finally, the Note 10+ is brightly lit, but there’s a bit of a watercolor vibe to it that fails to present the subject in the best possible light. Think of the hundreds of likes you’re going to miss out on because of this.